Hacked

Hacked

Yes or No ???

Just came back form kb mall lor just now... I saw some of my ex-classmates lor at there... And i rather shock a while when i heard that someone has boyfriend already lor... They all at NS (Noodle Station) lor.. So as i stepped my foot out of the escalator, i saw HS was talking on the phone, then I saw one face that I very familiar of, that is YJ (p/s: i can't say the name lor, scare she come kill me.. hehe.. ) and one stranger... He looks kinda muscular and of cause bigger in size than me.. Hahaz.. What really shock me was that when YK tell me he is YJ's boyfriend...~ wah..~ YJ has boyfriend le... At last... Hahaz.. At the same time, i realize that most of them there are not "available" already.

Huey Shenn (HS) + Zi Kang (ZK) = Sweet lovely couple
Ma Shian (MS) + Unknown (Ums) = Mystery couple
YJ + ' Muscular Guy ' (MG) = Shock-me-couple

but, when can i write " KS + SY = tall-and-short couple " ? hmm.. I think, it is going to be long long time..

Actually, I'm now just like in the grey area... Not black nor white... At least if black or white, i can differentiate it, but if grey, i should go for black or white, it is really blurring me... very confusing... I know i like her, but i don't know whether she likes me... I used to ask her, she said :"dono wo"...

Dono... what dono mean?? not sure?? no?? yes?? maybe??

Hmm.. that what keep me in grey area... Should I take the next step?? Or should i just cease eveything?? This feeling doesn't suffering me, just keep me in blur... Could anyone tell me what should i do?? Be practical a bit la... I don't want theory~

To SY: believe me, I'm not playing, I know you know I'm not playing too, if you say you worry about our relationship duration, trust me, it won't be short, THE SHORTEST WILL BE MY LIFETIME......

sleepy 2...

Time... Space... She needs both of them, not from everyone, but from me... Because is me who make her felt dilemma in this situation... At last, i know no matter how i concern about her, i still need to be away from her, let her to have a grasp of fresh air...

Today, writing this blog, is just to express my feeling, which is hard to accept but i need to accept... After the previous case, she seemed to be avoiding me. I really felt it... Felt it deep in my heart. I don't know how to accept it, but in fact, it is true. I can't avoid it already, but to accept it, with endless pain.......

Maybe it is because all the teases among her friends, making her felt "pressurize" by the situation, resulting her to be staying away from me, repelling from me... Haihz... I'm so down... This test is really tough, testing my determination, testing me whether can make it through all the obstacles... Although this is just the first one, but still it is a pain staking task... Hurt my heart everytime i try to over it...

Last night went out meet with xue qi and zi kang... We all went to Golden Bean to have our "yum-cha" activities... Of cause she also there... After that i sent her home back to her house... Although the distance is not really short, so it took some time to arrive... I really want to ask her again, but i know that would cause her to be more hatred me... Till the time she arrived at home, i managed to stay down and just say "bye" to her... watching her walk into her house without looking back... It is hurt... That moment, i know that i'm not important in her heart... Or maybe just a little bit more like good friends...

I am a loser...~

sleepy...

I am not sleepy... that what she send me through friendster's messages... i totally have a great shock after read it... i am totally feel like devastasted... i really feel like totally hopeless... WHAT HAD I DONE??? i really don wan to lose her... i don want she to hate me... i definitely don't to be her enemy instead of friend...

Till now, i just know why she can't accept me yet... not because of don't know, is because of she think over a lot of things, which i already thought about it before...I felt so bad, as lately i keep forcing her to tell me, what is she thinking in her mind? But what i had did, when i recalled back, i know that i should not forcing her like that... that what i wana say sry to her... to sing yee...

After i have clarify with all the situation, I know, she really need time, and space, which i always failed to do... why so?? cause i could not stop myself from finding her.. at school, every morning i always wake up as early as possible, finish my breakfast as early as possible, just to arrive at school as soon as possible.. sometimes i m late, n she need to be duty at 7.15am.. no matter how dangerous, i drove almost 105km/h in the morning, which roads are full with cars n bikes, but i don care... What i care is that i need to arrive at school, put down my bag and go to her class, even there is only a few minutes left...i still want to go her class, i just want to see her...i really just to see her... my BESTIE want me to put it aside first, i willing to do that too, but the point is, i can't.... even a single msg, after a few minutes she din reply me, i am sure will sms her to ask her wat happening.. i am totally insane...

Still, everyday during recess, i will wait in the class, as i know she would come to my class every recess, no matter what i need to do, i will wait till her come, for sure, i just want to see her too... My feeling towards her just keep on deeper and deeper everyday... but my worries are also getting more and more... what if one day she say "i m sry"?? what if one day she reject me??? what if one day we are not friend anymore??? i could not think of the impact... i really can't...

Everyday, i will think of the same question... "what should i do to make her happy??" everyday, i sms her, just to make her happy... i could not concentrate on my study 100% as everyday i think about her... if only this matter will settle, with a happy ending, i m sure everything can back to normal... but not now, this feeling is not suffering, but it is kinda like a test... i could only wait, wait till the moment she said, "yes".......

* L.O.V.E *

Something happened for the very first time with you, my heart melts into the ground, and i found something true, i have fallen in love with you... Maybe you haven't realize it for the first time, neither do i.. For every couple, they all started with just a simple friend relationship. A little feeling at the beginning is enough to trigger the passion towards a person at the end... That what have happened on me... Hahaz..

Me and her started with just friend... Everyday go to school, meet each other, share along funny things... without my knowledge, she slowly gain a VIP place in my heart... (VIP is stands for Very Important People, not Very Important Pig ok??) hmm... i told 1838 at first... so i think she is the first one who know lu~

Erm... About the processes, lazy to write la... skip to recently la.. But first, i want to strongly state that me and her is not a couple now... (this statement is true until 1.36pm, 31st of August)
hehe... what she told me of course i can't write in here... She definitely will kill me de la...

She knew that the feeling i have towards her... Time is what she need i think... For me, there is no need to be rush... I only hope to see her happy lo everyday... (Every guy sure want to see his loved one to be happy la...) I can only tell you that everything i did for her just to win her heart la honestly... Maybe after anyone read this feel "cold" lor.. Sry lor.. but that what in my mind la..

Lastly, i just want to tell her that,

I promise you

I’m always there...
When your heart is filled
with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you...
When you need a friend
I'll always be by your side...

what a wednesday night... ~

Actually this night is just like every nights before... Online-ing, chatting, watching tv, sms-ing... Almost every night, the same routine... The only thing which distinct this night from others is i writing this blog, which i seldom do in most time...

I don't have anything to say lor... Just going to write a few lines...

Just a few minutes ago, i was reading ah miao a.k.a 8537's blog. Hers blog are going to become a forum site already... A lot and a lot of comments were posted in each of the post... and the most recent post already have 7 comments.. hahaz.. But don't know she had read them or not lor.. One thing which is obvious is my english not as good as hers, and also 8837's english... So my blog would not be as interesting as theirs la... i wonder how they can write such a good english huh???

So, sorry for stopping right here la nah... i will edit this post later on.. Coz' kinda late already... Need to have a nice sweet sleep... hahaz.. so c yea...

Lonely = Need someone beside = Need LOVE???

When u r lonely, u certainly need someone to be your side... For some people, they couldn't stand the feeling of being lonely... being disconnected from friends... For me, this is the worst thing which i never want to face... Coincidently, someone also hate the feeling to be alone... This feeling of hatred against loneliness make us a good friend now...

Before this, that mean when form six started, we just a normal friend... That time, she still have someone to accompany her.. During school hours.. During recess.. or sometimes even after school.. For me, that period of time, we just friend... But after that, the boy who always accompany her left for a better future, which for me, i will never choose that road... hahaz...

So, after he left, she become a little more lonely than before... No more people accompany her... No more people eat with her in the canteen... Luckily still got some friends who still with her... including me... I am not very sure when i be so friend with her... Just i remember that, i start to pay a little more attention to her...

Ever since then, i kinda getting closer and closer to her... But yet recently, i received a bad news from her... She going to leave L6SP... I knew this long before, but still, it is a unbearable feeling... To see her leaving me... Far from where i can see her... uh-uhh... that is hurt... ( just like the chemical bond.. the bond will get weaker as the distance get longer and longer...) Aikz..

I HATE THIS FEELING~