I am not sleepy... that what she send me through friendster's messages... i totally have a great shock after read it... i am totally feel like devastasted... i really feel like totally hopeless... WHAT HAD I DONE??? i really don wan to lose her... i don want she to hate me... i definitely don't to be her enemy instead of friend...
Till now, i just know why she can't accept me yet... not because of don't know, is because of she think over a lot of things, which i already thought about it before...I felt so bad, as lately i keep forcing her to tell me, what is she thinking in her mind? But what i had did, when i recalled back, i know that i should not forcing her like that... that what i wana say sry to her... to sing yee...
After i have clarify with all the situation, I know, she really need time, and space, which i always failed to do... why so?? cause i could not stop myself from finding her.. at school, every morning i always wake up as early as possible, finish my breakfast as early as possible, just to arrive at school as soon as possible.. sometimes i m late, n she need to be duty at 7.15am.. no matter how dangerous, i drove almost 105km/h in the morning, which roads are full with cars n bikes, but i don care... What i care is that i need to arrive at school, put down my bag and go to her class, even there is only a few minutes left...i still want to go her class, i just want to see her...i really just to see her... my BESTIE want me to put it aside first, i willing to do that too, but the point is, i can't.... even a single msg, after a few minutes she din reply me, i am sure will sms her to ask her wat happening.. i am totally insane...
Still, everyday during recess, i will wait in the class, as i know she would come to my class every recess, no matter what i need to do, i will wait till her come, for sure, i just want to see her too... My feeling towards her just keep on deeper and deeper everyday... but my worries are also getting more and more... what if one day she say "i m sry"?? what if one day she reject me??? what if one day we are not friend anymore??? i could not think of the impact... i really can't...
Everyday, i will think of the same question... "what should i do to make her happy??" everyday, i sms her, just to make her happy... i could not concentrate on my study 100% as everyday i think about her... if only this matter will settle, with a happy ending, i m sure everything can back to normal... but not now, this feeling is not suffering, but it is kinda like a test... i could only wait, wait till the moment she said, "yes".......
