Just came back form kb mall lor just now... I saw some of my ex-classmates lor at there... And i rather shock a while when i heard that someone has boyfriend already lor... They all at NS (Noodle Station) lor.. So as i stepped my foot out of the escalator, i saw HS was talking on the phone, then I saw one face that I very familiar of, that is YJ (p/s: i can't say the name lor, scare she come kill me.. hehe.. ) and one stranger... He looks kinda muscular and of cause bigger in size than me.. Hahaz.. What really shock me was that when YK tell me he is YJ's boyfriend...~ wah..~ YJ has boyfriend le... At last... Hahaz.. At the same time, i realize that most of them there are not "available" already.
Huey Shenn (HS) + Zi Kang (ZK) = Sweet lovely couple
Ma Shian (MS) + Unknown (Ums) = Mystery couple
YJ + ' Muscular Guy ' (MG) = Shock-me-couple
but, when can i write " KS + SY = tall-and-short couple " ? hmm.. I think, it is going to be long long time..
Actually, I'm now just like in the grey area... Not black nor white... At least if black or white, i can differentiate it, but if grey, i should go for black or white, it is really blurring me... very confusing... I know i like her, but i don't know whether she likes me... I used to ask her, she said :"dono wo"...
Dono... what dono mean?? not sure?? no?? yes?? maybe??
Hmm.. that what keep me in grey area... Should I take the next step?? Or should i just cease eveything?? This feeling doesn't suffering me, just keep me in blur... Could anyone tell me what should i do?? Be practical a bit la... I don't want theory~
To SY: believe me, I'm not playing, I know you know I'm not playing too, if you say you worry about our relationship duration, trust me, it won't be short, THE SHORTEST WILL BE MY LIFETIME......
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
sleepy 2...
Time... Space... She needs both of them, not from everyone, but from me... Because is me who make her felt dilemma in this situation... At last, i know no matter how i concern about her, i still need to be away from her, let her to have a grasp of fresh air...
Today, writing this blog, is just to express my feeling, which is hard to accept but i need to accept... After the previous case, she seemed to be avoiding me. I really felt it... Felt it deep in my heart. I don't know how to accept it, but in fact, it is true. I can't avoid it already, but to accept it, with endless pain.......
Maybe it is because all the teases among her friends, making her felt "pressurize" by the situation, resulting her to be staying away from me, repelling from me... Haihz... I'm so down... This test is really tough, testing my determination, testing me whether can make it through all the obstacles... Although this is just the first one, but still it is a pain staking task... Hurt my heart everytime i try to over it...
Last night went out meet with xue qi and zi kang... We all went to Golden Bean to have our "yum-cha" activities... Of cause she also there... After that i sent her home back to her house... Although the distance is not really short, so it took some time to arrive... I really want to ask her again, but i know that would cause her to be more hatred me... Till the time she arrived at home, i managed to stay down and just say "bye" to her... watching her walk into her house without looking back... It is hurt... That moment, i know that i'm not important in her heart... Or maybe just a little bit more like good friends...
I am a loser...~
Today, writing this blog, is just to express my feeling, which is hard to accept but i need to accept... After the previous case, she seemed to be avoiding me. I really felt it... Felt it deep in my heart. I don't know how to accept it, but in fact, it is true. I can't avoid it already, but to accept it, with endless pain.......
Maybe it is because all the teases among her friends, making her felt "pressurize" by the situation, resulting her to be staying away from me, repelling from me... Haihz... I'm so down... This test is really tough, testing my determination, testing me whether can make it through all the obstacles... Although this is just the first one, but still it is a pain staking task... Hurt my heart everytime i try to over it...
Last night went out meet with xue qi and zi kang... We all went to Golden Bean to have our "yum-cha" activities... Of cause she also there... After that i sent her home back to her house... Although the distance is not really short, so it took some time to arrive... I really want to ask her again, but i know that would cause her to be more hatred me... Till the time she arrived at home, i managed to stay down and just say "bye" to her... watching her walk into her house without looking back... It is hurt... That moment, i know that i'm not important in her heart... Or maybe just a little bit more like good friends...
I am a loser...~
Thursday, September 11, 2008
sleepy...
I am not sleepy... that what she send me through friendster's messages... i totally have a great shock after read it... i am totally feel like devastasted... i really feel like totally hopeless... WHAT HAD I DONE??? i really don wan to lose her... i don want she to hate me... i definitely don't to be her enemy instead of friend...
Till now, i just know why she can't accept me yet... not because of don't know, is because of she think over a lot of things, which i already thought about it before...I felt so bad, as lately i keep forcing her to tell me, what is she thinking in her mind? But what i had did, when i recalled back, i know that i should not forcing her like that... that what i wana say sry to her... to sing yee...
After i have clarify with all the situation, I know, she really need time, and space, which i always failed to do... why so?? cause i could not stop myself from finding her.. at school, every morning i always wake up as early as possible, finish my breakfast as early as possible, just to arrive at school as soon as possible.. sometimes i m late, n she need to be duty at 7.15am.. no matter how dangerous, i drove almost 105km/h in the morning, which roads are full with cars n bikes, but i don care... What i care is that i need to arrive at school, put down my bag and go to her class, even there is only a few minutes left...i still want to go her class, i just want to see her...i really just to see her... my BESTIE want me to put it aside first, i willing to do that too, but the point is, i can't.... even a single msg, after a few minutes she din reply me, i am sure will sms her to ask her wat happening.. i am totally insane...
Still, everyday during recess, i will wait in the class, as i know she would come to my class every recess, no matter what i need to do, i will wait till her come, for sure, i just want to see her too... My feeling towards her just keep on deeper and deeper everyday... but my worries are also getting more and more... what if one day she say "i m sry"?? what if one day she reject me??? what if one day we are not friend anymore??? i could not think of the impact... i really can't...
Everyday, i will think of the same question... "what should i do to make her happy??" everyday, i sms her, just to make her happy... i could not concentrate on my study 100% as everyday i think about her... if only this matter will settle, with a happy ending, i m sure everything can back to normal... but not now, this feeling is not suffering, but it is kinda like a test... i could only wait, wait till the moment she said, "yes".......
Till now, i just know why she can't accept me yet... not because of don't know, is because of she think over a lot of things, which i already thought about it before...I felt so bad, as lately i keep forcing her to tell me, what is she thinking in her mind? But what i had did, when i recalled back, i know that i should not forcing her like that... that what i wana say sry to her... to sing yee...
After i have clarify with all the situation, I know, she really need time, and space, which i always failed to do... why so?? cause i could not stop myself from finding her.. at school, every morning i always wake up as early as possible, finish my breakfast as early as possible, just to arrive at school as soon as possible.. sometimes i m late, n she need to be duty at 7.15am.. no matter how dangerous, i drove almost 105km/h in the morning, which roads are full with cars n bikes, but i don care... What i care is that i need to arrive at school, put down my bag and go to her class, even there is only a few minutes left...i still want to go her class, i just want to see her...i really just to see her... my BESTIE want me to put it aside first, i willing to do that too, but the point is, i can't.... even a single msg, after a few minutes she din reply me, i am sure will sms her to ask her wat happening.. i am totally insane...
Still, everyday during recess, i will wait in the class, as i know she would come to my class every recess, no matter what i need to do, i will wait till her come, for sure, i just want to see her too... My feeling towards her just keep on deeper and deeper everyday... but my worries are also getting more and more... what if one day she say "i m sry"?? what if one day she reject me??? what if one day we are not friend anymore??? i could not think of the impact... i really can't...
Everyday, i will think of the same question... "what should i do to make her happy??" everyday, i sms her, just to make her happy... i could not concentrate on my study 100% as everyday i think about her... if only this matter will settle, with a happy ending, i m sure everything can back to normal... but not now, this feeling is not suffering, but it is kinda like a test... i could only wait, wait till the moment she said, "yes".......
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